Life is no bed of lilies
by hilarity.com
Summary: The famed James Potter and the bright Lily Evans make a great couple, don't they? Firstly, though, Lily needs to agree to this idea of 'coupledom'. Getting Lily to agree is no easy task, though, and as they say, Life is no bed of lilies!
1. Chapter 1

**Life is no bed of lillies**

_**Disclaimer: **If you think I own anything in this story besides the idea, think again!_

_Chapter 1: Determination, disguised dementia and discouragement_

As a child, James Potter was one of many things. He was a privileged boy whom many thought of as an angel. James was a wealthy pureblood child with strong wizarding talent, even as a young boy. He had loving parents, kind friends, looks and brains, although the last two were quite unrelated.

At the age of 6, he came to the realisation that he had a 'weakness', if you could call it that, for redheaded girls. Little did he know that this weakness would one day become his downfall.

When James boarded the Hogwarts Express for the first time at eleven years old, he befriended three very different boys by the names of Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. Together, they formed an exclusive group, the Marauders. Needless to say, James was the leader of this group. All four members were sorted into Gryffindor, along with a certain girl who had caught James's eye. Her name was Lily Evans. In the years to come, James would find himself calling Miss Evans 'my favourite redhead'.

During James's fourth year at Hogwarts, he found himself rather attracted to Lily Evans. Unfortunately, the girl did not return his affections. His fifth year at the school found him falling in love with Evans, but by sixth year, his feelings were out of control, and he knew he loved his 'Lily blossom'. Lily never did agree to that name though.

James knew that Lily and he had had differences in the past, so without further ado, he set out to make his favourite redhead fall desperately in love with him. Of course, he forgot the slight problem that might have made his life easier had he taken it into account: Lily's temper.

Current Day

James always knew he was loved by his peers, even if the majority of his fans were female. As he strutted down the Great Hall towards his fellow Marauders one morning, many of the students were staring at him or attempting to get his attention. It was a pity, really, that the one girl he lavished his attention upon never really reciprocated his feelings or affections.

James sat down next to his friends, coincidentally placing himself next to Lily as well. Leaning his head on her shoulder, he asked if she had slept well.

"Sod off, Potter. You know perfectly well that I didn't sleep well. You put roses in my bed, with thorns nonetheless!" Lily fumed, proving that she was perfectly capable of getting angry in the early hours of the morning.

James quickly raised his head off her shoulder and stared at her, attempting to look innocent.

"What roses, my Lily flower?"

The Gryffindors nearby snorted and quickly resumed eating as Lily shot them a death-glare. Really, with her frightening glares and James's fame throughout the school, the two of them could very soon become the most well-known dangerous couple!

"You know perfectly well what I mean, Potter! Don't ever try anything like that again, or I swear by your broomstick that I'll hex you into oblivion!" the angry redhead yelled, her face a matching colour with her famous hair.

She stood up, grabbed her bag and walked out of the hall, a cunning smile on her face. Lily was, after all, an intelligent girl, and knew that James would never let anything happen to his beloved broomstick, no matter how much he wanted a girl's attention.

The Marauders stared at the vicious girl, and continued their meal. James, though, needed a bit more persuasion from his best friend. This persuasion came in the form of a glass of milk on the Head Boy's head.

"Padfoot! What the hell was that?" yelled James, springing up from his seat quickly.

"What? I thought you might need to eat your food before I steal it!" Sirius replied innocently while cackling to himself at the splendid idea of pouring milk on one's head.

Remus muttered a quick cleansing spell and the liquid instantly disappeared from his friend's hair.

Sitting back down, James began his breakfast while staring into space thoughtfully. He had to admit, the idea with the roses hadn't been his best one, especially roses with thorns! Well, what was he to do? He knew that he had to come up with an idea that would eventually win Lily over, but what exactly was that idea?

_I'll do anything I can, even if it means lobbing off someone's head,_ James thought with conviction while plunging his fist into his bowl of porridge, unaware that he was doing so.

"Say, Moony, can I borrow your head for a minute?"

There was no need whatsoever for anyone to comment on the odd looks that James received.


	2. Chapter 2

**Life is no bed of lilies**

_**Disclaimer:** You know, when I say I own nothing but the idea in this story, I really mean it! Surprised? You should be…_

_Chapter 2: The Art of Forgery_

Many at Hogwarts were aware of Lily Evans's achievements. Those who were fond list-makers had created, of all things, a list of her many attributes. The list often looked something like this:

**Lily Evans was a studious girl who strove for the highest in any subject possible.** Yes, this included the detested Divination, in which she and the oaf Sirius Black had been paired together by a rather dim-witted professor.

**She was Head Girl, and shared a common room with James Potter. **Honestly, if this was considered an attribute, then Lily would be perfect by now!

**The top Potions student at Hogwarts. **Really, the red hair must have caught Professor Slughorn's attention immediately.

**Lily's wicked sense of humour. **Oh yes, how could one forget the time when she had 'accidentally' cast a glamour spell over Potter during a Gryffindor party, causing him to look like Dumbledore, when he in fact had wanted to look like his favourite Quidditch player? Needless to say, the boy had been humiliated beyond belief!

The list was far longer than this, of course. The one thing that most people overlooked, or simply failed to realise, was the fact that Lily was really the master of forgery. There could be no other better forger in the whole castle, and this was one talent that Lily treasured, for without this 'talent', how could she truly repay the Head Boy for his many wicked tricks?

Oh, life without forgery would be boring indeed!

"You know, Padfoot, in a world dominated by men, you could probably pass off as an intelligent person. In this world where equality reigns, though, you'd most likely be one of the thicker specimens," Remus explained to his shaggy-haired friend.

Spinning around with a bewildered expression, Sirius finally stopped and stared at Remus.

"You think I'm fat? I don't think I'm fat!" he exclaimed, shocked at the mere thought of it.

"That only proves my point, Sirius," Remus said tiredly, hitting his forehead continuously.

"Moony, have you looked in the mirror lately? You're not that skinny, you know," James told his friend condescendingly. Sirius and Peter nodded their heads solemnly in agreement.

"Not you as well, James!" Remus moaned, an anguished look masking his complacent features. Looking at Peter's repetitive bobbing-of-the-head, he wisely decided not to comment on the overall intelligence of the Marauders.

James sat himself down next to Remus and looked about the Gryffindor common room, complete with its plush cushions and couches. With a yawn, he inwardly wondered why they were studying History on such a fine and beautiful Saturday. In his opinion, the Quidditch pitch was there for a reason, and when combined with sunlight, made his life that much better.

As he cupped his chin with his hands, James heard the approaching voice of his Lily flower, speaking to none other than Frank Longbottom! Immediately, he sat up, his attention riveted on the redhead, who was currently immersed in a long and, in James's opinion, rather interesting conversation with Frank. Using his superior listening skills, James managed to catch several of the words being said.

"…oh, please, Frank! You know how much it means to me!"

"I dunno, Lils. It's an awful lot to ask of a bloke…" At this, Frank's volume dipped quite suddenly, resulting in a rather hurried whisper.

As Frank and Lily stepped through the portrait door of the common room, Lily's face reddened quite dramatically. This was followed by a rather loud exclamation from the Head Girl.

"Frank Longbottom! How could you think that? I'm only asking you to…"

The poor boy quickly covered his friend's mouth with his hand while waving worriedly to the Marauders. All four waved back, uncertain of what was going on.

"Uh, hi James! Remus, Sirius, Pete, how are you?" Without waiting for an answer, Frank dragged Lily up the set of stairs and into the boys' dormitory.

Staring at one another with rather bewildered expressions, the Marauders returned to their respective duties, oblivious to Lily's intent.

The next morning, James stumbled blearily into the Great Hall, not quite ready to begin his day. He sat himself down with a highly audible thump and began shoving porridge down his throat, unaware that he could quite possibly cause himself indigestion problems. The Head Boy and proud Quidditch captain slowly came to the realisation that many pairs of eyes were staring at his beautiful face.

"What?" he spluttered, porridge flying out everywhere. Those closest to him shielded themselves from the impending World War III attack, their attention thus being immediately detracted from him.

James looked around, his tired eyes scanning the sea of people surrounding him. His gaze rested upon a very familiar looking rose, and his eyes travelled up the rose, to meet Peter's round face.

"What!" yelled a now fully wide-awake James, springing up from his seat.

"Lookit that, Moony. Doncha reckon Prongs is sounding a lot like a girl nowadays? I mean, what with yelling and then jumping up straightaway, and then giving a rose and love letter to Wormtail! Hahhhahaaa…" Sirius exclaimed loudly, trailing off into laughter. Remus unsuccessfully tried to prevent himself from grinning, whereas Peter was constantly wiping the tears of joy from his face.

"James! I don't believe it! Do you really mean it? You love me with all your heart? I'm so touched!" Without giving James a chance to recover from his initial shock, Peter leapt at the bespectacled boy, knocking him slightly off balance.

James awkwardly patted his fellow Marauder on the back, while detaching himself from said Marauder's tight embrace. He never ceased his roving-of-the-eye, though. Snatching the attached letter from the rose, James ripped it open, eager to find out whom to exact his revenge upon. Imagine his immense surprise when he found himself staring at his own handwriting, in these exact words:

_Dear Peter,_

_There are no words that can express how I feel for you. Therefore, in high hopes of your reciprocation of my feelings, I present you with a gift I hold most dear to my heart. May you forever cherish and love this rose, as I love you._

_Yours truly,_

_James Potter_

With a confounded expression on his face, James looked up from the letter, only to be met with a pair of startlingly familiar eyes, accompanied by a smirk. He cocked an eyebrow in response and walked away from the Great Hall, utterly humiliated yet impressed. Who would have thought she had it in her? James could understand if it had been any other person. Sirius, Remus, Pete, Malfoy… hell, even Crabbe and Goyle! But Evans? Never!

_Okay guys, you know the deal. PLEASE REVIEW… I like it when people review. Obviously, I'm not too happy when they don't. So make a happy girl, won't you? That way, I won't need to resort to extreme acts of violence. My friends would know. Not that I'm meaning to scare you at all…_


	3. Chapter 3

**Life is no bed of lilies**

_**Disclaimer: **Do we really need to go through this again?_

_Chapter 3: Anger Management Classes_

**A/N: **The mention of the Giant Squid is thanks to my friends Pailin and Stephanie. Guys, be thankful that I mentioned you!

The following Friday night found Lily in the library, head bent studiously over a monstrously thick book.

"Aren't you ever the smart one, Evans?" said a male voice from behind her. This was, without doubt, James.

An unexpected groan came from Lily as she slammed her forehead onto the crinkled pages of the textbook.

"GO AWAY, POTTER. I DON'T NEED YOU HERE RIGHT NOW!" came the muffled reply.

Now, James was never one for obeying orders, so he walked towards Lily and sat next to her, tilting his head curiously to judge her mood. Lily, sensing the boy's presence, lifted her head slowly and turned the full force of her merciless glare upon him, hoping to send him scuttling away.

"Now now, Lily flower, it's not good for your image if people hear you yelling at me. They might think it's a lovers' tiff!"

_If the git thinks he's helping, boy is he in for a surprise!_

James managed to count to three before he became Lily's personal punching bag.

"Evans, ow! Stop! Don't you… ow! Hey! Stop it! Don't you think we could… ow! Talk this through maybe?" the poor boy asked hopefully amid punches.

"Talk? You want to talk? I didn't see you do much talking when we were at the last Prefects' meeting, did I? Did you talk when your idiot of a friend Black thought it'd be funny to throw me into the Lake? Did you?" Lily questioned angrily, her face once again resembling a tomato. To James's great surprise, her brilliant eyes welled up with tears and her punching ceased to continue. Lily's hands now hung limply by her side as she slid down the wall, tears streaming down her cheeks.

No-one truly understood what she had been through the past week. After the incident involving the conspicuous love letter, James had become the object of everyone's conversations. Being the kind and loving (not in that sense!) friend that he was, Sirius had decided to shine the spotlight on the school's beloved Head Girl by throwing her, books and all, into the Great Lake with the Giant Squid as her companion. Needless to say, the soaked and severely cold Lily had not been pleased with the turn of events, and had resorted to her cosy corner in the library. The books did make a better companion than the Giant Squid ever would.

James stood up cautiously, eyeing Lily with something akin to sympathy. He squatted down in front of her and pulled her to her feet, offering the girl some comfort.

"There now, it's alright, Lily. I'm sorry, really I am."

As a reward for his kindness, James became Lily's punching bag once again. With a sigh, the Head Boy admitted that the redhead's temper and resolve never wavered even during times of distress.

Moments later, when Lily was certain that her waterworks display wouldn't continue, she lifted her head from James's chest and stared at him, unable to figure out the reason behind his helpfulness.

"I'm not such a terrible guy, Evans, if that's what you're wondering. But I highly suggest anger management classes for you!" James teased.

It was no wonder that James entered the Gryffindor Common Room sometime later, bruised and ruffled from all the physical abuse he had encountered.

_Review, and I won't have to hyperventilate. That was a bit of a short and quick chapter, wasn't it?_


	4. Chapter 4

**Life is no bed of lilies**

_**Disclaimer: **I don't own it. I don't own it. I don't own it. I don't own it. I don't own it. I don't own it… Get the drift?_

_Chapter 4: The eyes are the windows into your soul_

"Hey! You can't do that! It was mine!"

"No, it was mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

The Battle of the Biscuits, a famed argument between James and Sirius, was currently the hot topic in the Hogwarts kitchens. Of course, no-one knew of its existence except for the Marauders and the house elves. All this was about to change as Lily entered the kitchens. The poor girl took one look at the two seventh-years and clapped her hand to her mouth, eyes widening in undisguised shock.

Unaware as they were of Lily's presence, James and Sirius continued battling over the biscuits. At her limit, Lily let out a squeak of laughter before returning her hand to its original position. Startled, the two boys looked up, rather resembling owls, and dropped the biscuit immediately.

The Head Boy stood up at once, almost falling over his own feet. Running his hand through his hair, a common habit when he was nervous, James managed to stutter, "Uh, uh, Evans! Who are you?"

No, James Potter wasn't the smartest of people when confronted after the Battle of the Biscuits. It was common knowledge (to the Marauders, at least) that this ongoing 'war' required an extreme amount of brainpower.

In response to this question, Lily raised an eyebrow while staring bewilderedly at the boys. Her mind was whirling as she contemplated upon one of two actions. She was really wondering if she should punch the living daylights out of the two dimwits or speak rationally to them so as to get them out of their trance. Considering the fact that she had punched Potter about ninety-six times in the past few days, and mind you, this was no exaggeration, she decided upon the latter of the two choices.

"What in the name of Merlin were you two doing? And I thought you were seventh-years! I was obviously mistaken. Goodness me, could you be any more immature?"

You got that right. Spot on, in fact, if you understood that to be Lily's excessively rational way of speaking.

At this, a heated quarrel began between Lily and James. As Sirius cowered under the table, he could clearly see their faces getting increasingly red, and so, in a desperate attempt to catch their attention, took out his wand and waved it frantically.

The next few moments were a blur to all those present. As Sirius finished muttering the spell, Lily and James were pushed together by an invisible force, whereby they began kissing. Well, 'a touch of the lips' was really more appropriate.

Aghast, Lily pushed James away, her hand once again flying to her mouth. She glared vehemently at both Sirius and James before stomping off angrily.

Sirius climbed to his feet, laughing and shaking his head continuously. His friend, however, was engrossed in sending him death glares.

"What did you do that for Padfoot? You know she doesn't want to be kissed!"

"Um, I thought _you _wanted to snog her senseless though!" Sirius asked, a little surprised.

Again, the finger-running-through-hair action commenced.

"Yeah, but not now! Not when she's so mad at me!"

In defence of his actions, Sirius raised his hands with a slightly frightened look on his face.

"Sorry, mate! Didn't mean to hurt her! Really! Now how about we get some cake?"

Chuckling slightly, James could only think about how much his best friend loved his food. Of course, there was the slight matter of the hot-tempered Head Girl to deal with…

After the little incident in the kitchen, James snuck in quietly into the Heads' Tower. Glancing around, he noticed the dismal absence of Lily, and made his way to the bathroom. As he washed his hands, he noticed a pair of strangely clear _things_ sitting in a container full of a liquid of sorts. Bending his head while wiping his hands on his shirt, James peered at the _things_ curiously. He poked at one of the two objects gingerly, and to his immense surprise, found that it was soft! His lips curved upwards as he continued poking at the two objects, amused at the springing action that occurred after he had pushed it down.

_Goodness, I might as well just take these! Merlin knows that Evans probably doesn't need them!_

Struck by sudden inspiration, James escaped with the little container within the confines of his hand. After dipping his fingers in and out for approximately an hour, he blew out the candle and went to sleep. It seemed like only minutes later when he had to wake up, due to an extremely rude knocking on his door.

"What is it, Evans?" he opened the door, muttering obscenities under his breath.

The girl tapped her foot impatiently while squinting at James.

"I said, have you seen where my contacts are?"

"Pontacts? What the hell are pontacts?"

Lily stared at him in a manner that made him rethink his answer. Of course, his new answer was exactly the same as his original answer. She turned around and stomped off angrily, face bright red with indignation.

James rubbed his face tiredly. It seemed as though she'd been doing a lot of the walking off lately. Women were so hard to live with sometimes!

And that was when he heard the abrupt thud of a collision, and Lily's body fell to the floor with a highly audible thump!

"Evans!"

Panicking, James out of his room and helped Lily to her feet, acutely conscious of the developing bruise on her forehead.

"Can't you walk away from a door and NOT walk into another one?" James asked, exasperated.

"Well, it's not my fault that I can't see anything, is it? I've lost my contacts!"

"Contacts? What exactly are they, Evans? And don't you walk away again, because you know you'll break your neck once you've fallen down the stairs!"

Rubbing her forehead, Lily told him what contacts were, and why she needed them. As she gave him a description of the so-called contact lenses, James' face paled rather quickly.

"Uh, hold on a minute, alright?" And without another word, he rushed to his room to retrieve the two objects he had been fiddling with earlier on.

"Say, Evans, are you blind?"

No, James had most certainly gotten over his Battle of the Biscuits. In fact, he was only ever lacking of tact when he was around the resident redhead of Hogwarts.

Lily shot him an intense glare, while snapping, "Are you?"

"Well, it's just that I think I may have what you're looking for."

James handed the container to Lily and shielded his face with his arm, afraid of getting his facial features mauled by the Head Girl. The long-awaited slap never came though.

"Thanks Potter. May I ask what you were doing with these in the first place?"

Let's just say that although the slaps never came, a whole bag of punches were thrown at the defenceless James Potter!

_Sorry about the late update guys. Hope you liked that chapter. Please review?_


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